week 42

Hey chickens,
Sorry for the delay, there was this crazy thing called day-light savings that went on and it just completely threw us off track and we just didn't know where we were up to. But here we are now.
Feeling pretty grand this week but in stead of our usual ranting and bullet points of how great life is, good old Maxim Gorky has summarised it in a neat sentence:

" To life- to life- that there may be set free all that is good and human in our hearts and minds."

Nice one Maxim.



Lies, lies from tiny eyes, she never said she was over age, she probably couldn't even count that far! She had velcro on her shoes! Goddam pedos in lumberjack shirts.
Creative collaboration with Slinky Winfield.


This week we love...



Just some dudes rocking out outside that shitty waffle stand on Oxford Street. The guy in the suit looked like a simple passer-by but then he just whooped out his harmonica and started playing along, like his life was a musical, and he was used to joining into random outbursts of song and synchronised dancing. Kind of want to know what he sings when he gets up in the morning...


Time Without Consequence-Alexi Murdoch

All 11 songs on this album are possibly the most relaxing, yet happiness inducing songs you'll come across.
Despite the slightly somber feel to the songs, the lyrics are all really positive and it's probably the best album to go to sleep to.
Most of the songs from here were used as the soundtrack to the film 'Away We Go' and the song 'Orange Sky' has been used in countless films and tv shows, mostly when something deep and meaningful happens. So if you're into the likes of Elliot Smith and Nick Cave I would most certainly recommend this album. Personal favourites would be 'Song For You' and 'Breathe'


Submarine- Richard Ayoade

Despite writing an extremely poor article for last week's Guardian TV Guide, Richard Ayoade is a personal favourite so I was very excited to see his directorial debut. So excited in fact that I skipped Russian Grammar and headed to the local Odeon at 3.20pm (it was a weird experience, the discounted tickets don't make up for the strange atmosphere in a cinema before 5pm) Adapted from Joe Dunthorne's legendary coming of age novel, Submarine is a first person narration through the life of 15 year old Oliver Tate. Similarly to Sue Townsend's Adrian Mole, Oliver is a hopelessly middle class boy whose mediocrity is at odds with his high aspirations and romantic illusions. In between segregating himself from the philistines at school, Oliver juggles wooing the haughty Jordana and trying to persuade his dad not to let his mum run off with the mystic next door. Where polaroids and satchels get a little too obviously 'kooky' Ayoade's wry sense of humour saves the day and makes you realise you can still be a decent human being, even if you do push fat girls into ponds as a roundabout way of getting laid.


Susan Hiller at Tate Britain- 5 Atterbury St, Westminster, London SW1P 4 Tube Station: Pimlico

You might know old Sue from that big video installation she had at Tate Modern for ages, you know the one with 4 massive colourful screens, each showing clips taken from films of girls who could move stuff with their minds? Anyhow she's got a solo exhibition at Tate Britain and unlike the horrendous advertising posters, it's well worth a look at. Although it solidified my belief that video art really just isn't for me, it also confirmed my belief that anything, and I mean anything, looks cool if it's collected in all its different varieties and framed. There's something really anal about really liking things lined up neatly isn't there? OCD aside there's also a really nice piece called Monument which is all these photos of forgotten memorial plaques from around London like:

Frederick Alfred Croft. Inspector. Aged 31. Saved a lunatic woman from suicide at Woolwich Arsenal Station but was himself run over by the train. Jan 11 1878

David Selves. Aged 12. of Woolwich. Supported his drowning playfellow and sank with him clasped in his arms. September 12, 1886

Go have a gander.

Also...



Just in case you fancy getting psyched up about cycling, The Flying Scotsman is up on BBC Iplayer right now. Go Boris Bike, go go go!!

Week 41

Hey chicks,
So I'm sitting on my bed listening to Angus and Julia Stone, my face hurting from spending too much time squinting through a kaleidoscope and thinking we could all probably do with a bit more childish excitement in our day to day lives. Maybe not excitement actually because that can get a bit manic, and often leads to disappointment, but maybe wonder. We should probably spend more time wondering.
Tatyana Tolstaya seems pretty good at it so here's an extract from her short story, 'Rendezvous With a Bird'

Peace and quiet in the circle of light on the white tablecloth. On saucers, fans of cheese, of sausage, wheels of lemon as if a small yellow bicycle had been broken; ruby lights twinkled in the jam.
Petya was given a large bowl of porridge; a melting island of butter floated in the sticky Stargasso Sea. Go under, buttery Atlantis. No one will be saved. White palaces with emerald scaly roofs, stepped temples with tall doorways covered with streaming curtains of peacock feathers, enormous golden statues, marble staircases going deep into the sea, sharp silver obelisks with inscriptions in an unknown tongue- everything, everything will vanish under water. The transparent green ocean waves were licking the projections of the temple; tanned, crazed people scurried to and for, children wept...
Looters hauled precious chests made of aromatic wood and dropped them; a whirlwind of flying clothing spread...Nothing will be of use, nothing will help, no one will be saved, everything will slip, list, into the warm, transparent waves...The gold eight-storey statue of the chief deity, with a third eye in his forehead, swayed, and looked sadly to the east...
"Stop playing with your food!"

Fucking Uncle Borya, such a killjoy.













































































































































































































































This week we love...





La Maison De Mon Rêve-CocoRosie
This debut album by sisters Sierra and Bianca Cassidy, was recorded in the bathroom of their Parisian apartment in 2004. Their is a strong chance you won't like it on the first listen but it will grow on you. It resounds to the sound of blues, gospel, early jazz and folk, yet has the background sound of childrens toys and childlike vocals . However the lyrics do seem to twist between a feel of innocence and torturous tales, which drag you into their own little universe which can only be appreciated in the right mood. Despite the slightly amateurish feel of this album, it really is pretty splendid. Personal favourite would have to be"By Your Side'.. especially enjoy the lyrics ' I want to be your housewife, I want to wear your black eyes"...class!


Up- Pete Docter and Bob Peterson

Apart from my ridiculous housemate Josh I imagine that you've all already seen this, but I was trying to think of a film that would go with the whole kaleidoscope theme and this is what came to mind. If you should ever, ever have the opportunity to watch this in 3D go, grab your hat and go! The shot of the balloons exploding out of the top of the house and lifting it past New York skyscrapers is incredible but visual wonders aside, it's a pretty heartwarming tale. I cried three times throughout and left the cinema wanting to grow old with a man with lots of ties.


Shepherds Bookbinders Ltd, formerly Falkiner Fine Paper- 76 Southampton Row, London, WC1B 4AR

Drove past this place on the bus about a million times, each time making a mental note to drop by next time I was in the area but when I finally hauled my sorry self over I thought it had shut down. Turns out I was just standing outside the wrong shop but somewhere in my confusion I made a solemn pledge to be better at supporting independent shops, so I guess that means bye bye Paperchase. As the name suggests, Shepherds Bookbinders


Also...

Recently realising I know a ridiculous amounts of Mexican pun jokes.. for example,

Why don't mexicans cross the border in groups of 3?

Cause it says no trespassing!

Week 40

Holy shit our blog is officially middle aged.
40 weeks... If it was a person it would probably start considering life insurance, and its retirement plan, maybe plan to invest in a holiday home or take up some absurdly smug hobby.
The again it could also just have a crisis, buy a motorbike and start shagging its secretary.
We'll be sure to let you know in any case.
















Ma Fleur-The Cinematic Orchestra
Ma Fleur (my flower) is the third album by the usually jazz influenced band. Released in 2007 this album sounds a lot more like a band or singer-songwriter project compared to bands usual sounds. Yet it still manages to keep its idiomatic sense of form and structure. Unlike his usual use of film as inspiration, Swinscoe (creator of most of the tracks) worked along side with a scriptwriter who drafted an accompanying screenplay to go with Ma Fleur, however it has not yet been released and until it is, just enjoy the rhythmic interplay that is this album. Personal favourites would be 'To Build a Home' and 'Familiar Ground'.




Priceless- Pierre Salvadori

As you've probably ascertained from the poster there is absolutely nothing high brow about this film. Then again we're not especially high brow people so better to keep every thing in good measure. Best described as a French version of Breakfast at Tiffany's, Priceless follows the disastrous love affair between the beautiful gold digger Irene and hapless barman Jean. Without having to go into the plots finer details, boy loves girl, girl loves money, boy gets money, and well, you'll have to see the rest for yourself. Silly and contagious, it's unpretentious romantic comedy at its best with some incredibly wardrobe moments from Audrey Tatou that would rival Miss Hepburn herself. Will make you sigh and get all dreamy eyed about romantic escapades, however do not try to kid yourself that your boyfriend will want to join you for this one, there are some things that can only be served with a heavy dose of oestrogen.

The Empress-72 Thoday St Cambridge CB1 3AX
This pub, located just down the road from my house is honestly the best place to find yourself after hours of studying and the call of a drink is just too strong to resist. Ridiculously nice atmosphere the Empress holds a number of things you cant help but be impressed by. Firstly is the range of people there, from real mens men, to trendy students and even a lesbian wedding in the garden, you would have to try very hard to stand out in this place. There is also a number of pub games available, such as a pool table, darts and scrabble. However the best part would have to be their array of pets. Inside the pub lives the smuggest looking cat you'll ever see and in the garden lives.. wait for it.. PIGS! Possibly the greatest thing to have in a pub. If none of the above appeal to you, the drinks are pretty cheap aswell.

Also...

Find out your blues name!
http://www.outliermusic.com/jokes_bluesname.htm

Week 39

Hey chicks!
I've just realised that every week we end up looking back on what we've enjoyed, and never get round to talking about what we're looking forward to so here are a few things that are getting us excited for the week ahead:
the amazing pancake race in Spitalfields market this Tuesday (12.30 don't be late), laboriously translating Chekhov, chocolate and peanut butter milkshakes at The Diner, watching Priceless with the beautiful Andrea and possibly buying some new doorknobs for the kitchen. Life is good.






Nice bit of product placement right there. Was feeling pretty ashamed about the the state of my laptop but didn't really want to spend 20 pounds on a sleeping bag for a bit of electrical equipment. Opted for the 99p heavy duty envelope instead. Available from Rymans or any post office and is the perfect size for a Macbook, pretty sure most laptops could snuggle in comfortably. Idea shamelessly stolen from Wallpaper's Home Made Issue (incredible publication by the way, buy a back copy if you can).

This week we love...

One of my housemates has slipped into the dangerous habit of opening other people's mail. It's not that he breaks into houses or harasses the postman or anything, we just get a whole lot of crap sent to us for previous tenants. And so he came across this tasty bit of correspondence. Actually intended for our landlord, the letter seemed too strange to ignore, and so Ginny and I headed off to the Church of Scientology's headquarters in London to check things out for ourselves.




The 'church' is located on Queen Victoria Road near St Paul's. The door's shut and there's no one outside offering personality tests or free drinks, and we're not really sure what to do. The men inside are staring at us wondering if we're going to come in. We take the plunge. The first thing I notice is the plush carpet, the kind that your feet sink into and makes you feel guilty about wearing shoes. There's a man sitting behind what looks like a hotel reception, wearing a clerk's uniform and looking busy. Another, with a face like a foetus asks if he can help us. We say something vague about wanting to have a look around and he takes us upstairs to the information room. He asks us if we're from London, and where we live and Gin shoots me one of those 'don't say anything I don't want to end up behind the plaster boards of this dude's house' looks. You know the one.
The information room looks like a mix between a games arcade and a really crass museum. It's divided up into different areas which present different themes, and each has a sort of interactive TV screen. We're lead to the first screen and watch a clip about what people think about Scientology churches. The interviewees are all preppy Americans with irritatingly high spirits saying crap like 'a Church of Scientology isn't like a normal church. It's really clean and modern, and the first thing you notice is like 'wow, look at all these displays! I can't believe how many panels there are!', 'You can just come here to study you know, and like, people aren't preaching AT you, you're like, totally teaching yourself.' 'You just become more and more YOU. Hahahaha'

Wondering if this might just be a joke, we head over to the next display: Scientology Volunteer Ministers. There are a few different clips but we opt for the last one, thinking it said something about saving Tanzania. Fair enough, poor country, could do with some help, but no, the 20 minute clip is actually about saving Tasmania. Tasmania? One of the most hopelessly middle class places you could think of? Yep. The story is about some super scientologist woman called Wendy Honnor (no joke) who decided to go back to her hometown in Tasmania and save them from high suicide rates and a shitty economy. She starts off handing out leaflets, all Erin Brockovich style then winds up being called on as a minister to an old lady's deathbed. Not only does she provide comfort to the dying hag, but solves all her family conflicts and then 'she didn't die!' Oh and all of this is accompanied by the Back to the Future theme tune. Ginny snorts loudly and we both wriggle around trying desperately not to laugh too loud, we are after all on their turf. The rest of the clip really is something else though: Miss Honnor not only rescues the Tasmanian people's morale and economy, she single handedly saves 105 people's lives by dissuading them from committing suicide.

Thinking that we won't be able to take much more of this we head to the most interesting looking display: Psychiatry, An Industry of Death. By watching just 4 of the 15 or so clips, we learn that not only is mental illness a complete fabrication invented by psychiatrists to make money, these devilish bastards are the cause of racism, apartheid, black slavery, Stalin's Purges and, of course, the Holocaust. After the quick succession of concentration camp pics, psychiatrist's statements read out in angry German voices and the usual collection of witness statements 'They just took my boy away, they took away my joy' (sobbing woman), I was seriously waiting for them to explain how psychiatrists had also invented cancer. At this point Ginny got overwhelmed and we decided to leg it. Stepping outside she summarised the experience: 'Man I feel like I've had my head in a plastic bag..'

We'd spent over an hour in there but it felt closer to 15 minutes so I decided to pick up a booklet on my way out for some at-home reading. It's called 'The Way to Happiness: a common sense guide to better living' The first page presents an explanation of how to use this book, saying:

You of course wish to help your contacts and friends. Choose someone whose actions, however remotely, may influence your own survival.

While it's pure comedy gold I didn't pick up enough copies to pass around but here are some of my favourite quotes:
2.2 Don't let anyone who has been drinking drive you in a car or fly you in a plane.
4. Bringing a child into the world today is a little bit like dropping them into a tiger's cage [...] The problem is complicated by the fact that while most children are capable of great decency, a few are born insane
The contemporary society is tailor-made for a child's failure
6. Anyone trying to discourage you is trying to do so because they actually mean you harm and are seeking to serve their own ends.
7. What is true is what is true for you.
8. The stupid, the evil and the insane seek to solve their real or imagined problems with murder.
The way to happiness does not include murdering or your friends, family or yourself being murdered.
13. The road to happiness cannot be travelled with stolen goods.
18. Intolerance is a very non-survival activity.

They also provide footnotes for every word you may not understand like 'murder' 'survive' 'immoral' 'influence' or 'example'. Just in case you weren't sure of how incredibly stupid you have to be taken in.


Black Sands-Bonobo

Known for his eclectic mix of breaks, jazz, hip-hop, soul and funk, this fourth album released by Simon Green has not been a disappointment in the slightest. 10 years into his career, Bonobo has managed to master mysterious and multi layered sounds that never cease to impress, and even more so as he does it all himself. The kind of music that fits into any situation, be they calm or full of energy, this album is very easy to fall inlove with. Almost completely lyric-less apart from a select few featuring Andreya Triana, his younger sister, the deep basslines and sometimes skittish flute replace any need for them. This album full of insouciant elegance is definetly one to check out. Personal favourites would be-Kong, Stay the Same and Black Sands

Animal Kingdom- David Michod

When thinking of Australian cinema the films that seem to come to mind are Strictly Ballroom, Muriel's Wedding and The Castle: light-hearted, family friendly affairs with great characters and a happy ending. The same can not be said of Animal Kingdom whose mood is pretty well encapsulated in the opening scene: a slack jawed teenage boy is sitting in his school uniform watching Deal or No Deal, a woman is lying next to him, presumably asleep. He looks bored, but then a couple of paramedics come in and rush to the woman on the sofa. 'What was it?' 'Heroine.' Next thing you see is the boy sat in the kitchen on the telephone. 'Hi Grandma, it's J..Josh. Yeah I'm good thanks. Listen Mum's just gone and had a heroine overdose and died.' And so 17 year old Josh Cody goes to live with his Grandma, the head of a dwindling criminal family in Melbourne. While you're sometimes unsure of whether to laugh or cry, Animal Kingdom is sure to make you tense, as the survival of the fittest takes characters out suddenly and without ceremony. Ginny and I left the cinema feeling like we might get shot at any minute, sniped down anonymously or maybe just shot in the face. Sad to admit we were wandering around Hampstead.


Louis- 32 Heath Street, Hampstead, London NW3 6TE

No, this is not some nifty effect produced by an iphone camera, this place does actually look like a time warp. Stepping into Louis' patisserie the first thing you'll notice is the lack of music. It's quiet, but not in an eerie way, just the kind of silence that makes you feel calm and like you're about to do something sophisticated. The decor reminded me of Viennese coffee shops, all wood panelling and chintzy cutlery with the expected dose of cross-stitched flowers adorning the walls. There are a strange amount of waitresses working away, all women and all very sweet who approach you with an enormous tray of all the cakes they have to offer. At first I thought one of the customers was buying the whole tray but then I realised it's just a clever alternative to having a menu, a system I think more cafes should adopt because there's nothing more disappointing than expecting the culinary dream they've conjured up on paper and being faced with a microwaved sponge cake. The cakes are around the 2-3 pound mark, I ended up spending 6 pounds on a chocolate cake and latte, a fair price for a whimsical experience.

Also...



Extremely proud to have contributed to Miss Emelie Hultqvist's latest project, Un-Categorized, a monthly online publication of fashion, art and inspiration. Click here to have a gander and check out all the wonderful pictures and animations.