The Grand Finale

So it's been a long colourful summer and as of tomorrow reality settles in again with the start of term. Another year of grammar lessons and baked bean dinners. A routine not unlike last year's but somehow I feel it's going to be a very different 12 months from the ones we spent doing this blog. Not because we've changed particularly as people, or switched our aims and interests, just that we've become a little older, a little wiser. And on that enlightened note I'd like to invite you to our new website!

www.toothpickmag.com

It's all the same content as the blog only a bit easier on the eye and will be updated more regularly (I know we got a bit slack with our 'every Sunday' routine near the end of the year) So yeah, I hope you like it and to see you there soon, I'm also looking at getting more contributions from people so if you know anyone who's done something wonderful, please let me know and we'll shower them with praise and confetti and general appreciation.
A final address doesn't seem appropriate because it isn't really the end of anything, more like we're moving into a different house in the same suburb, but to end on a good note here are our top five feel good songs of the moment:

. Pumped Up Kicks- Foster the People
. Mama Don't Like My Man- Sharon Jones and The Dap Kings
. It's Nice To Be Alive- Ballpark Music
. The Day I Died- Just Jack
. Air- Snakadaktal

Actually that last one isn't happy at all, it's just a really good song. Hope you've all had spectacular summers, loved wildly, danced spastically, dressed colourfully, exhausted your imaginations and desire for adventure and have returned to Autumn calm and contented. It's going to be an amazing year.

Love always,
Gin and Elly




Made this bad boy of a mural for Miss Anna Buckingham's birthday. Made up of 200 paper cranes and a whole lot of care, it's either a testament to how much I love that girl or a sign of some sort of mild autism. If you fancy having your room plastered with origami birds, feel free to let me know. As the second set I've done so far, I'm on a total of about 1700 cranes and could literally do it with my eyes closed.




I Heart Rhys Nicholson-

a quick chat with the gayer-than-aids funnyman

So Rhys Nicholson who are you, tell me about yourself

I'm a comedian, that's a pretty loose term though. I'm a comedian with a day job, because things are going well.

What's your comedy about?

I don't know, there's a lot of anger in my comedy but for no reason, I was brought up quite nicely. I don't know, a lot of awkward sexual experiences.

Like what?

Fingering a girl, that's one.

Would you like to tells us about it?

Sure. So this is my only experience with a woman. It was technically rape but I didn't press charges. We were really drunk at this party right, and this girl, let's call her Sue because that was her name. She was from Newcastle. Broadmedow Road. House number 67. Anyway she was getting really aggressive (she drank like a fish) and she pulled me onto the bed and started making out with me and suddenly she didn't have any underwear on anymore and the lights were on and it was terrifying. By the way girls, never call it 'my precious lily' because that's really not what it is, is it? Made me think of that movie, Predator. You know when he takes off his mask and it's all like blerghgraaaaaa!!! Anyway, so there it was, the all stinking eye, and she just grabbed me by the hand and flung it onto her vag. And I didn't know what to do, it was kinda awkward so I just sort of high fived it. And that was that.

That sounds like plenty to be angry about. Is there anything else that grinds your gears?

Religion. Being gay. Being bad at sex.

Are you rubbish?

Yeah. I'm like a 45 year old female divorcee, I've seen too much and I don't bleed anymore so what's the point?

How is life being a gay man in Australia?

Great, fucking so many rights. I'm kind of bad at being the gay rights advocate though because I really don't care. I don't want to get married, I don't want kids. I'm like one of those old ladies getting pissed on sherry while there's a war going on. I hear about it, but I don't really give a shit.

Fair enough. Could you give us a quick snippet from your show?

Sure. I can share my thoughts on fisting if you want? There's something about fisting that terrifies me. There's something about sex that terrifies me actually but fisting especially. I mean when do you get to the point in your sexual career (and it is a career, I've gone bankrupt several times) where you can't respect someone unless you can loose a watch inside them. If there's one person I'd allow to fist me it'd be Jim Henson, inventor of The Muppets. Because he has had his hands inside of cultural icons. I would love to be part of that alumni. It'd be me and Miss Piggy: BFFFs. Best Fisting Friends Forever.

On that classy note any general words of wisdom for the population at large?

Come to my show and if you kiss me afterwards, that'd be great.

You can catch Rhys on the Australian version of Balls of Steel or in person at Sydney's Comedy Store. Either way it's not for the sentimental.

Snakadaktal- album yet to be released

Going to a HSC art exhibition the other day I was flabbergastered by how angsty most of the entries were (titles included, but were certainly not limited to: 'Mass Production' 'Distorted World' and 'My Family Inside My Mind') I was beginning to think that the years between 10 and 18 were destined to be a creative wasteland when along came this nifty little band. With a handful of glitter and some sweet dance moves all my prejudices were swept away and instead I've been left watching their film clip on loop as I feel increasingly old and mediocre. Previously named 'Monkey Salad', Snakadaktal are a Melbourne high school band who've suddenly come into some well deserved lime-light as the winners of this year's Triple J Unearthed High. Although they've yet to release an EP you can check out both their tracks 'Air' and 'Chimera' on the Triple J website or have a gander at their lovely film clip here.

Jane Eyre- Cary Fukunago

"If all the world hated you, and believed you wicked, while your own conscience approved you, and absolved you from guilt- you would not be without friends." Wise words from a very lonely girl, this is but one nugget of wisdom on offer in the latest adaptation of Charlotte Bronte's classic novel, a period drama with a sharp script and an unflinching sense of morality. Jane Eyre is an orphan, cast out by her rich aunt and sent to a charity school to become a governess before taking on work at the haunting Thornfield Hall, home of the mysterious Mr Rochester and his closet full of secrets. Although there have been about 24 adaptations of the novel to date, none have so accurately played up the gothic element of the tale, director Cary Fukunago saying he wanted to really work on "that sort of spookiness that plagues the entire story." Off to a good start with his casting of Mia Wasikawska as the title role (you might remember she played Alice in Tim Burton's adaptation of Alice In Wonderland), the film reaches perfection with excellent performances by Jamie Bell, Judi Dench and Michael Fassbender. Immaculate costume design, eerie settings along Northern England's moors and a sense of tension that puts any horror film to shame, Jane Eyre is a little gothic gem which everyone should add to their collection.


Hampstead Mixed Bathing Pond- Millfield Lane, London N6 6JL

While the ponds were officially closed two weeks ago the meteorological freak that is this week’s weather has forced the council the reopen them for one week and one week only. They will be shutting again on Sunday. If you’re not getting my sense of urgency you’re really missing the point. Go to the ponds now! Now! They’re pretty! And cheap (£1 entry for concessions)! Virginia Woolf and her gaggle of lesbian comrades used to frolic there! In all seriousness though there really isn’t a more idyllic spot to cool down anywhere in London. With the combination of incredible sunshine and autumn leaves, the dark water makes you feel like you’re swimming through a Monet painting. Honestly.

Also...



We realise this is the kind of thing you're supposed to do when you know you're going to die soon, but it's still very sweet.

Week 50

Hey chicks,
I regret to announce that as of Saturday the 11th of June, I will be slumming it in the depths of Russia, spending a month in Kazan as part of my quest to learn their god-forsaken language. Although we have been assured that there will be a MacDonald's in the town centre (a sure if perhaps depressing sign of civilisation), there is absolutely no guarantee that there will be internet, meaning that the blog will have to take a wee holiday. Hope that you all have an excellent summer, below are a few little suggestions to get excited about the sunny season. Woop out the flamingo earrings and gold sandals, take care and look forward to seeing you all back soon!
Much, much love
Elly and Gin

If I wasn't embracing the motherland this summer I would...

Week 49

Heya chicks,
You know those days where you wake up with a tiny harmonica round your neck and get called to the Crown Plaza to see an old friend, sticky with alcopop and wearing somebody else's clothes? It's been one of those weeks. And while it's been brilliantly messy and fun we are now absolutely cream-crackered, sporting bruises and sleepy smiles, so we leave you with just a little quote from the lovely Lizzie Lay:

Every roll of toilet paper comes with a free telescope in the middle.

Hope you have an amazing week!






Found this absolutely brilliant idea in the latest issue of Frankie magazine and thought it was a good enough excuse to go ape shit in Paperchase and spend a whole afternoon cutting out paper hexagons. I'm not entirely sure where I want to stick them up yet, nor do I possess that amount of blu-tak, but will be sure to post a picture once I've plastered one of the walls in all this paper-quilt glory.
Fleet Foxes-Fleet Foxes
Released in 2008 this album by Seattle based band was an instand success in both the UK and the US.Described as 'Baroque harmonic pop jams' which is a slight understatement to this quartets vocal harmonies and woozy folky feel. Despite the fact that they were all found via the internet this group of 20 somethings work and sound amazing together.Majority of songs are simple, yet terribly enjoyable. If you like Arcade Fire then you'll definatly like Fleet Foxes. Personal favourites would be 'Sun It Rises' and 'White Winter Hymnal'


Citizen Kane- Orson Wells

I just went onto old Wiki to find some interesting background info about the film (you're not supposed to admit that's where you get your information from are you?) and got completely overwhelmed. I have the feeling that this film alone is keeping at least 50 university lecturers in jobs at this very moment, so I will not add to the internet landfill by spinning my own little interpretation of the American dream. It is a good film. You should watch it. The set design is amazing. I probably can't offer much more than that, but I will say that while everyone is already raving about this cinematic bad boy, I'd like to give a shout out to BBC Iplayer, which has allowed me to watch Citizen Kane, and many many other great films, for free and without any of the hassle of downloading. Thank you BBC.


Super magic destination- Somewhere near the Oxo Tower

Next time you've got a sunny evening free I suggest you print this little map off, grab a bike and cycle over with a couple of friends in tow and enough money for a bottle of wine and a pizza. Unfortunately I can't say where, exactly, you should cycle to as Google Maps refuses to give me a name for the place but spotting it on satellite view has convinced me that it does in fact exist and wasn't a lovely and very elaborate hallucination. I won't spoil the intrigue a treasure map creates (and this is a treasure map), but will summarise the destination as so: fairy lights, wooden shacks, drift wood tables, tacky shops, faded advertisements, by the river, Mediterranean tourist spot. I hope you like it.


Also...




I remember when I was 16 Chelsea and I had a competition of who could steal the most educational posters off the school walls over a few months. I ended up with some shitty cartoons about the dangers of smoking and one about the ocean's eco system, but who knows, perhaps in a couple of generations time they'll be vintage or retro or whatever and I can sell them on to some greasy teenager with too much money and a silly haircut. Until then here is an entire blog dedicated to scientific drawings that deserve to make the cut.

Week 48

Hey chikadees,
So it's been a horrendous week of exams (who ever knew that uni was so serious?) and we've been pushing our grey masses to the limit so now it's your turn. A little game:
Try to think of 10 different body parts of only three letters. Ready, set, go!
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _

Answers will be displayed next week.




Deers are pretty neat.


This week we love...

Chimneys Afire-Josh Pyke
i first heard this Sydney based folk singer in 2007 at a music festival and instantly fell inlove with it! This is the second album by Josh Pyke and like his first one is filled with autobiographical songs that give us a glimpse into his childhood and relationships. If you like Nick Drake and Elliot Smith then this man's music is definatly for you! The lyrics are lovely and his voice is simultaneously gentle and firm. Double the length of his debut album and possibly even more flantastic! Personal favourites would be 'The Summer' and 'Our House Breathing'

The Wave- Dennis Gansel

Just realised that this is the second week in the row that we feature a classroom drama..Next will be that film where Antonio Banderas teaches poor kids to tango their troubles away. Perhaps not. Anyhow, on to The Wave. In 1967 Ron Jones, a high school teacher working near San Francisco decided to give his students an understanding of fascism by reenacting the social conditions that led to the rise of the Nazis in Germany. People got really into it, it spread like wild fire and the whole project had to get quashed before things got out of hand. The Wave is essentially those events but condensed to a week and set in Germany. Classified as a drama/thriller, there are extremely tense moments as you wait for these wound up teenagers to do something awful, which of course, they do. An interesting insight into the power and danger of group mentality, I think it would have made more of an impact if it had been set in the US, or anywhere other than Germany in fact where there is already a strong enough stigma against all that is fascist.


L'Absinthe- 40 Chalcot Road, NW1 London

While French dining is all too often associated with ridiculous ingredients and arsy waiters, I am happy to introduce the unimaginable: an inexpensive French restaurant in London. And not in the back end of nowhere either, but tucked away in the charming if ever so slightly twee neighbourhood of Primrose Hill. Although the restaurant seems tiny from the outside, half the seating is in fact downstairs, a lovely little haven of candle light and framed maps of vineyards, along with some unimaginably tacky wall paintings to stop it getting presumptuous. The whole concept is that of a local bistro, so the food is wholesome and unpretentious, the waiters friendly and the atmosphere relaxed. Starters are around the 5 pound mark, mains 10 although you can get a three course meal for 12.50 at lunch on weekdays. If you happen to be skint but still want to drop by I'd recommend getting a coffee and sharing the absinthe creme brulee. It's 5.50 and more than big enough for two although make sure you draw up your dividing line before you start: creme brulee can get very territorial.


Also...



Seeing as we're going for the long skinny photos. Saw this on the Frankie website and think it may just be the best idea since post it notes. A bed like this just seems to demand ironed white pyjamas and blow dried hair, so if you think you fit the criteria, and happen to have a bit too much extra cash lying around you can buy it here.

Week 47

Hey chikadees!
So this weekend we went and visited our Grandma and Grandad in the rollicking countryside of Hertfordshire and we'll tell you now: city dwellers do not be fooled, the East End has nothing on village life. They had a village fete on so not only did we get to see our Grandma line dancing over people's graves, but learn of the extravaganza that is a dolly drop. We'd never heard of the phenomena before, but it goes something like this:
For a fare of 50p, you get to strap a makeshift parachute to your favourite dolly, give it to the vicar then watch him throw it off the top of the church tower.
Genius.

This week we love...







Would love to say that I contributed to this creative process with more than just cutting, pasting and framing, but lying's bad for the health and I have a busy day tomorrow.

Attack and Release-The Black Keys

Attack and Release sounds like a mix between Jimi Hendrix, BB King and Johnny Cash and my god is it good.Unlike their usual stuff this album is short of high tempo tracks, however this is not in the slightest a bad thing. Released in 2008 is the duo's first studio album and is filled with dusty, bluesy music where you'll find their song writing at its finest. having being criticized for sounding too polished I think its only a reflection on it being a studio album rather than a change in the band. You can imagine listening to this album in a smoke filled road side bar, and imagining doing so makes it that much better. Personal favourites would be Psychotic Girl and Things Ain't Like They Used To Be. Enjoy!

The Class- Laurent Cantet

The Class (Entre les Murs) tracks the academic progress of a rowdy class of 14 year olds from the 20th arrondissement of Paris over the course of an academic year. Based on the semi autobiographical novel by Francois Begaudeau (who plays his own part as the teacher), the cast are all students, teachers and parents of the Francoise Dalto High School where Begaudeau used to teach. Having excluded professional actors or even a script, the film is a frustrating, funny and sometimes depressing slice of life as both France's crumbling education system and the social issues surrounding its immigrant population are laid bare. Think a lighter take on Kidulthood, limited to the school environment and with a healthy dose of French wit.


IKEA Edmonton- Glover Drive, Enfield, London N18 3HF

I resent that you can't express your love for IKEA nowadays without sounding like a sad hipster wannabee echoing 500 Days of Summer, but I really to fucking love this place. An experience that I usually hold sacred to hanging out with my maja, like bra shopping or watching Eastenders, today I went out solo and my I say, it was glorious. Not only was I able to buy 15 picture frames of various shapes and sizes for 20 pounds, I also nabbed a 30 metre roll of paper for 3 quid, and a serving of macaroni cheese for 99p. Also spent the required amount of time perusing all the different pretend kitchens and bedrooms, drawing up a list of what I'd buy once I had more than a hundred pounds to my name. Haters, stay away, IKEA is the land of dreamers.

Also...



I was rummaging through my paper collection the other day and found this gem written by a certain five year old:

Fish

Fish are great pets.
They don't do much but swim around people say. But I think that fish have a world of their own, where they go to school and draw great pictures (like me). I think that fish are very smart (like Emily). I also think that fish eat spaghetti for tea not just fish food. I might invite some fish to my next party.
- Chelsea Brewer

Week 46

Hey chicks,
So I'm watching Sonny and Cher rocking out on Top of the Pops, singing the old 'I Got You Babe' and unsure whether I'm more impressed by how cute Cher looks without her face stapled back or by her incredibly awkward dance moves. Tough call.
In any case we hope the week's been kind, and that you're faring as well as the Brothers Grimm's shoemaker:

"His conscience was clear and his heart light amidst all his troubles; so he went peaceably to bed, left all his cares to heaven and fell asleep."

Love, Gin and Elly



Well done Pinny for finishing photography for the year. Apologies for the photo of a photo, but the print was too big to fit in the scanner.

This week we love...

Rumours-Fleetwood Mac

With over 40 million copies sold, its more than likely you've already heard this album. However it's all I've been listening to this week after I rediscovered its greatness. Released in 1977 this album is filled with raw lyrics influenced by the bands internal break ups of both couples. Despite being the 11th studio album by Fleetwood Mac, this is the one that made them a fully fledged phenomenon and the biggest-selling pop album to date, filled with harmonics that gained the album critical acclaim. In between 1977 and 1978 this album also reached number one in Australian, Austrian, Canadian, Dutch, South African, New Zealander, US and UK charts. It is also an album that plays a part in both of our childhoods as it was the album our mum used to listen to, especially after a glass of wine where she would dance around the living room and our dad would laugh and tell her to turn her hippy shit off. Personal favourites would be 'Never Going Back Again' and 'I Don't Want To Know'.

Pina- Wim Wenders

When I mentioned to people that I was going to see Pina, the following conversation tended to ensue:
"So what is it?"
"Well it's this really cool dance film that's just come out."
"Oh." Smug raising of the eyebrows. "Right."
"Wait, no no no, it's not like that! It's not a dance film, it's a film about dance, you know?"
"Ok, yeah cool, laters."
And I knew I'd never be able to scramble back up the several echelons I'd just dropped in their esteem.
In all seriousness though put all your prejudices and preconceptions aside and go to see this film. As a dedication to world famous dancer/head of the Tanztheatre Pina Bausch, I'd class it as 10% documentary, 90% visual delight. The choreography, the dancers, the costumes, the sets, the music, everything, combines to make this dizzying cocktail that'll make you laugh and sigh and generally just feel inspired. It took a crazy amount of self control not to dance along the tube platform on the way home, but then I remembered all those kudos I'd lost recently and thought better of it.


The Southbank Centre- Belvedere Road, London SE1 8XX

If ever you should happen to be broke and with an afternoon to spare (I know, what are the odds of that?) hop, skip and jump over to the Southbank Centre without further ado. While the concrete jungle is always a hive of activity, there seems to be even more stuff going on as the Festival of Britain opened last week. Although it may sound like the ultimate racist social club, the festival was in fact created in the 50s to boost everyones morale after the doom and gloom of the war, and let's face it, who would ever shun a bit of extra cheering up? Favourites include the ridiculous amounts of bunting, colourful beach huts and the urban beach although Jeppe Hein's 'Appearing Rooms' fountains is also pretty spectacular. There's also a free film screening every night projected against the side of the building so bring a jumper and popcorn and take a moment to appreciate how great it is to live in London. Oh Britannia..


Also...



Love the way he throws sand in that kids face. Is that bad?