The Grand Finale

So it's been a long colourful summer and as of tomorrow reality settles in again with the start of term. Another year of grammar lessons and baked bean dinners. A routine not unlike last year's but somehow I feel it's going to be a very different 12 months from the ones we spent doing this blog. Not because we've changed particularly as people, or switched our aims and interests, just that we've become a little older, a little wiser. And on that enlightened note I'd like to invite you to our new website!

www.toothpickmag.com

It's all the same content as the blog only a bit easier on the eye and will be updated more regularly (I know we got a bit slack with our 'every Sunday' routine near the end of the year) So yeah, I hope you like it and to see you there soon, I'm also looking at getting more contributions from people so if you know anyone who's done something wonderful, please let me know and we'll shower them with praise and confetti and general appreciation.
A final address doesn't seem appropriate because it isn't really the end of anything, more like we're moving into a different house in the same suburb, but to end on a good note here are our top five feel good songs of the moment:

. Pumped Up Kicks- Foster the People
. Mama Don't Like My Man- Sharon Jones and The Dap Kings
. It's Nice To Be Alive- Ballpark Music
. The Day I Died- Just Jack
. Air- Snakadaktal

Actually that last one isn't happy at all, it's just a really good song. Hope you've all had spectacular summers, loved wildly, danced spastically, dressed colourfully, exhausted your imaginations and desire for adventure and have returned to Autumn calm and contented. It's going to be an amazing year.

Love always,
Gin and Elly




Made this bad boy of a mural for Miss Anna Buckingham's birthday. Made up of 200 paper cranes and a whole lot of care, it's either a testament to how much I love that girl or a sign of some sort of mild autism. If you fancy having your room plastered with origami birds, feel free to let me know. As the second set I've done so far, I'm on a total of about 1700 cranes and could literally do it with my eyes closed.




I Heart Rhys Nicholson-

a quick chat with the gayer-than-aids funnyman

So Rhys Nicholson who are you, tell me about yourself

I'm a comedian, that's a pretty loose term though. I'm a comedian with a day job, because things are going well.

What's your comedy about?

I don't know, there's a lot of anger in my comedy but for no reason, I was brought up quite nicely. I don't know, a lot of awkward sexual experiences.

Like what?

Fingering a girl, that's one.

Would you like to tells us about it?

Sure. So this is my only experience with a woman. It was technically rape but I didn't press charges. We were really drunk at this party right, and this girl, let's call her Sue because that was her name. She was from Newcastle. Broadmedow Road. House number 67. Anyway she was getting really aggressive (she drank like a fish) and she pulled me onto the bed and started making out with me and suddenly she didn't have any underwear on anymore and the lights were on and it was terrifying. By the way girls, never call it 'my precious lily' because that's really not what it is, is it? Made me think of that movie, Predator. You know when he takes off his mask and it's all like blerghgraaaaaa!!! Anyway, so there it was, the all stinking eye, and she just grabbed me by the hand and flung it onto her vag. And I didn't know what to do, it was kinda awkward so I just sort of high fived it. And that was that.

That sounds like plenty to be angry about. Is there anything else that grinds your gears?

Religion. Being gay. Being bad at sex.

Are you rubbish?

Yeah. I'm like a 45 year old female divorcee, I've seen too much and I don't bleed anymore so what's the point?

How is life being a gay man in Australia?

Great, fucking so many rights. I'm kind of bad at being the gay rights advocate though because I really don't care. I don't want to get married, I don't want kids. I'm like one of those old ladies getting pissed on sherry while there's a war going on. I hear about it, but I don't really give a shit.

Fair enough. Could you give us a quick snippet from your show?

Sure. I can share my thoughts on fisting if you want? There's something about fisting that terrifies me. There's something about sex that terrifies me actually but fisting especially. I mean when do you get to the point in your sexual career (and it is a career, I've gone bankrupt several times) where you can't respect someone unless you can loose a watch inside them. If there's one person I'd allow to fist me it'd be Jim Henson, inventor of The Muppets. Because he has had his hands inside of cultural icons. I would love to be part of that alumni. It'd be me and Miss Piggy: BFFFs. Best Fisting Friends Forever.

On that classy note any general words of wisdom for the population at large?

Come to my show and if you kiss me afterwards, that'd be great.

You can catch Rhys on the Australian version of Balls of Steel or in person at Sydney's Comedy Store. Either way it's not for the sentimental.

Snakadaktal- album yet to be released

Going to a HSC art exhibition the other day I was flabbergastered by how angsty most of the entries were (titles included, but were certainly not limited to: 'Mass Production' 'Distorted World' and 'My Family Inside My Mind') I was beginning to think that the years between 10 and 18 were destined to be a creative wasteland when along came this nifty little band. With a handful of glitter and some sweet dance moves all my prejudices were swept away and instead I've been left watching their film clip on loop as I feel increasingly old and mediocre. Previously named 'Monkey Salad', Snakadaktal are a Melbourne high school band who've suddenly come into some well deserved lime-light as the winners of this year's Triple J Unearthed High. Although they've yet to release an EP you can check out both their tracks 'Air' and 'Chimera' on the Triple J website or have a gander at their lovely film clip here.

Jane Eyre- Cary Fukunago

"If all the world hated you, and believed you wicked, while your own conscience approved you, and absolved you from guilt- you would not be without friends." Wise words from a very lonely girl, this is but one nugget of wisdom on offer in the latest adaptation of Charlotte Bronte's classic novel, a period drama with a sharp script and an unflinching sense of morality. Jane Eyre is an orphan, cast out by her rich aunt and sent to a charity school to become a governess before taking on work at the haunting Thornfield Hall, home of the mysterious Mr Rochester and his closet full of secrets. Although there have been about 24 adaptations of the novel to date, none have so accurately played up the gothic element of the tale, director Cary Fukunago saying he wanted to really work on "that sort of spookiness that plagues the entire story." Off to a good start with his casting of Mia Wasikawska as the title role (you might remember she played Alice in Tim Burton's adaptation of Alice In Wonderland), the film reaches perfection with excellent performances by Jamie Bell, Judi Dench and Michael Fassbender. Immaculate costume design, eerie settings along Northern England's moors and a sense of tension that puts any horror film to shame, Jane Eyre is a little gothic gem which everyone should add to their collection.


Hampstead Mixed Bathing Pond- Millfield Lane, London N6 6JL

While the ponds were officially closed two weeks ago the meteorological freak that is this week’s weather has forced the council the reopen them for one week and one week only. They will be shutting again on Sunday. If you’re not getting my sense of urgency you’re really missing the point. Go to the ponds now! Now! They’re pretty! And cheap (£1 entry for concessions)! Virginia Woolf and her gaggle of lesbian comrades used to frolic there! In all seriousness though there really isn’t a more idyllic spot to cool down anywhere in London. With the combination of incredible sunshine and autumn leaves, the dark water makes you feel like you’re swimming through a Monet painting. Honestly.

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We realise this is the kind of thing you're supposed to do when you know you're going to die soon, but it's still very sweet.